Today I am thankful.
I am thankful for each of my four children. They are healthy, thriving, kind, respectful, and inspire me daily. They are the biggest reason I wake up each day with a fire inside me to keep fighting the good fight.
I am thankful to my husband. That could be an entire post in itself. I am so incredibly thankful for my sweet husband. He has been patient, present, and because he’s such an amazing father…he has taken so much off my plate, including the guilt I feel when I can’t be present. Things aren’t always perfect and we still have so much growing to do as a couple (we’ve only been married for 6 years with a lot of intervening life events during that time!), but to know what we’ve been through so far gives me all of the confidence in the world that we can endure anything thrown at us.
I am thankful for our amazing au pair, Bela. I don’t talk about her nearly as much as I probably should…especially because everyone always says “how do you do it all?” Well the thing is, I don’t. How could I honestly? Having four kids so young is tough, but it was our choice. Adding cancer into the mix with kids so young? Well that was NOT our choice and it’s a road not many have traveled. Bela has been every single thing our kids have needed during this extremely challenging time. We are all incredibly blessed to have Bela in our lives.
I am thankful for my tribe, both here in Minneapolis and the others scattered across the country. My tribe is small (just how I like it) but holy CRAP is it mighty. I could cry thinking about how supportive people have been for me and my family. The meaningful presents I have received since the moment I was diagnosed with cancer, the meals people brought to our house when I was staying at my parents’ house after my surgeries, the CARDS…my goodness the cards!, my new Minneapolis friends holding my hand at chemo, or during a meltdown on a bad day, or while I had my head shaved by the world’s greatest uncle-in-law a girl could have, driving me to my first radiation appointment, dropping off donuts and cakes to cheer me and the kids up…I am so incredibly blessed for this tribe of women that have treated me like their own blood.
I am thankful for our families…especially our parents. We are both so lucky to have such supportive and helpful parents. Each of them helpful in their own right, but together – they are an unstoppable and fearsome foursome. My father-in-law loves playing with our kids and doing projects and never eye rolls (in front of me, at least) when I ask him to do another thing around the house. My mother-in-law is amazing with our kids, folding ALL.THE.LAUNDRY. and also does a great job of reminding me not to say “I’m sorry” all the time. My dad. My sweet dad sends the world’s best texts and emails that literally mean more to me than I can ever even explain. He also vacuums better than most men I know. Sorry Josh. And my mom. She’s a saint. I cannot imagine the heartbreak of finding out your child has cancer, even if they are grown. My mom has been there physically for me for almost every single appointment…despite the geographic limitations. She has listened to my meltdowns without judgement. She has cooked so many meals.
I am thankful for you, whoever you may be…reading this post. As I said in my first blog post, I am partly writing this for myself. But, I am thankful for those that are supporting me by sharing in my journey. I wanted this journey of mine to be public because at the end of the day, helping people, even if it’s just one person, is what life is all about.
Lastly, and most importantly…I am so incredibly thankful for myself. I am brave, strong as hell, smart, and healthy. I am alive and cancer-free. This life we get is a good one. Today I am so incredibly thankful.
“Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.” J.K.Rowling